Just Smile

My name is Jeremy Hildebrandt and I would like to share my story with you.  The first couple of weeks following my birth were very traumatic. Within twenty-four hours after I was born, I had a few seizures which prompted testing and scans to find the cause.  The tests revealed a hemorrhage in the 4th ventricle of my brain.  The bleed is the cause of my brain damage which was later diagnosed as cerebral palsy. While I was still in the hospital, my parents sat at a large table with a team of doctors as they were told that their first born baby may never walk or talk.  Thankfully, my Mom got me into therapy at the age of six months which helped me eventually reach developmental milestones.  I may have developed later than most children, but in time, I was able to do most of the things a typically developing child could do. I still deal with certain disadvantages to this day, but I try not to let them get me down.  I think that being happy and continuing to smile though all of the struggles is what has helped me and my family get through these tough times.

The hardest period of my life so far has been kindergarten through eighth grade.  All through elementary school I didn’t really understand why I was different than other kids.  On the outside I looked like a “typical” kid, but on the inside I had a lot of hidden struggles going on that most kids, teachers, and parents didn’t understand.  This is what lead to constant bullying from students, teachers, and other school staff.  I would get picked on because of the way I walked, talked, and simply because I was different than the other kids.  I would get disciplined by teachers or principals for merely standing up for myself when being bullied, which in turn squeezed most of the joyfulness out of me, and made me very depressed.  In middle school I was so desperate for someone to make me laugh and call me a friend, that I chose people who didn’t want the best for me.  As the little bit of happiness I had left was almost destroyed, my dad introduced me to bodybuilding, and I also found an interest in kick boxing and Brazilian jiujitsu.  These new activities gave me a new found assertiveness.

As I started high school with confidence, I felt like I didn’t have to drown my true self to try to fit in.  I finally started to understand who I really was on the inside, and started working on my hidden insecurities. I grew to love English class because my teachers nourished my love for writing. I began to use writing as a tool to help release the hate I had built up towards myself. I would write papers about my feelings like one that was called, “My Feelings? Oh Don’t Worry About Those, No One Else Does”.  I also wrote letters to whomever I was angry with at the time.  When I graduated high school I thought all my problems would go away.  I then experienced how uncaring  and unhappy many people in this world actually are.  I think back to a journal entry I wrote about a guy who was a little different than the “ normal” person. He was holding a card and balloons as he walked passed me, and then dropped his card.  He bent down and picked it back up continuing on with his day with a smile on his face. Right then, I realized that most people I have encountered might get mad or have a frown on their face if something like that happened to them. But this man just remained happy and kept on smiling.  He wasn’t going to let a small inconvenience get him down. That’s when I knew I wanted to bring more smiles out of people. 

While I conclude this short story about myself, I would like to share something that has stuck with me since elementary school.  As I sat in class with my peers who were slow learners like me, the teacher asked everyone, “If there could be one thing you would change about yourself, what would it be?”.  Most kids answered that they wished they were taller or had different color eyes, but my answer was that I wouldn’t change anything.  Despite all the bullying and the issues I have dealt with, I now realize that all of those things have made me into the person I am today.  It is my mission to help spread more positivity and smiles around the world. Just Smile is for everyone and everyone deserves to be happy. Together we can change the world one smile at a time.